The birthday season is upon us. Most of our family's DOB's seem to fall between Feb and May, with the exeption of my brother- who, scarily, will be 60 in December, and our Mum, who may well reach her own September birthday. It just seems surreal that her consultant very earnestly told us in November that she would be very 'unlikely to make it to Christmas' (It's now April!). Mum is living a sort of half (or less than half) life in her bed in the living room. Her skin is pale cream and paper thin, with an enamel sheen. It looks beautiful and smooth on her arms in particular. I suppose I've been focussing on details like that to protect myself. She no longer seems to recognise us, or the children (although she did half-smile at Lily's toy Leopard- Sneaky!). Actually I'm not sure about that-  The older I get the more I believe that you never really know what other people are thinking and feeling, and I suppose that applies to dying people too. Perhaps she has some fingerhold on lucidity. John say's she's like a baby now (which would explain her reaction to Sneaky). Perhaps her mind has regressed to protect her in some way. John and I are in a sort of Limbo.

Lily and Jack get suitably excited about their birthdays. Lily has just reached 7, and for one of her presents had a Dwarf Hamster called Midge (as in Mary, Mungo and..). Jack will be 12 (which is an age I definitely remember-My own Dad bought his Newsagents shop when I was 12). Jack is turning out just fine, his school reports are amazing, and he is (mostly!) a thoughtful lad. He asked for a £400 mobile (rejected!) and a Hexbug Spider. This is one of the problems with technology; the latest tech is always the most expensive; and children (especially children approaching their teens - Oh God!)- always want the very latest tech. Expensive mobiles are always so nickable and loseable. He's reading the Manga series 'Bleach' which has some 'adult themes' Take your time Jack! There is plenty of time for adult themes. 1/4/12